Picnic Basket

…ginseng chicken soup loaded with scallops and other goodness

…my dad bursting out in song with Sir Elton John

…my brother saying ‘good night’

…home 

Is an extra day at home.

Which, unfortunately, is a luxury I cannot afford at this point of time.

Unlike some of my contemporaries (I sound funny) I genuinely look forward to CNY every year. Not the annoying relatives but the general atmosphere of 团圆, getting together with my own family, meeting up with friends that I only see once or twice a year.

My memories of CNY include a meal on the eve, lounging around with the TV till past midnight, cos that’s the way it is supposed to be. The first day of CNY would begin with the new year wishes for the parents, and we’d have vegetarian food whole day. And the day also began with the whole family watching TVB’s live telecast of their CNY event. And then there’d be people coming to visit. And me joining friends to visit others.

It’s different this year, but I still like it, nonetheless. The reunion dinner this year was a very healthy (think organic veggies, fish, assorted fishball stuff, tofu, chicken, the works) steamboat dinner with a neighbour.  And I went out to meet some Sam Chai classmates for a drink at Old Town (where else these days right?) and later on at Rum Jungle. It is really heartwarming meeting them cos though we probably last saw each other like 13-14 years ago, this annual get-together makes us feel like we’ve never really parted. Granted, we are all so different now, but we were a united class, we were. I am meeting up with more of them later. can’t wait!

Then of course there are the AMC girls tomorrow night, and meeting up with Ling tomorrow too.

We are also visiting as a family this year - haven’t done that for some time. Thanks to Someone Up There, Ernie is finally understanding what CNY means and is now willing to go through visitations with us. Went to 6 homes yesterday. We were all so stoned at the end of the day! But I was also surprised to find that many families don’t visit as a family these days, as teenagers refuse to join their parents, and the older kids have their own programmes. I think I am a stickler for traditions such that I’ve always joined my parents for these visits and I know I’d definitely insist that my own kids do the same in the future.

To a certain extent, I really think the ones who are more nostalgic and the ones who want to meet up the most are the ones who have left. I am definitely one of them and since I left 5 years ago, I’ve always been uber enthusiastic about setting up meetings and stuff. While it is true that at every stage of your life, you will inevitably have different friends (what would I do in Singapore without the D3 girls to go through college and now adult life with me I don’t know). 

But this year, I have come to a realisation that not everyone shares this sentiment. There are some friends whom you meet only once a year and you can just pick up where you left off last year. There are some friends whom you can keep in touch with just a few times a year and still you are up to date with each others’ lives. And there are also some friends whom you still hold dearly, but you’d have to come to the realisation that everyone’s needs have become different, and that maybe you just don’t belong anymore (or you have never belonged at all).

I think I was slightly down during my first day home but after talking to Justin about it, and doing some thinking of my own, I think I’ve learnt much from this experience. What matters is not how many different groups you meet up with during these seasons (not that it should ever matter!),  but the value of these meetings. It sounds superficial but I think at this point of time, I’ll just appear where I am apparently missed. Where people would actually ask, "Where’s sze?". Not "what is she doing here?".

On another note, I am still hoping for my voice to resurface! David has given me a simple formula - hope it works!

And I am missing all the action in Singapore as well! Can’t wait to meet up with the girls and of course SAF too! 

Happy Lunar New Year to the few of you reading!

p/s I’ve finally found a connection between guys I find attractive: Eason Chan, Jamie Oliver and the boy. They all exude the big boy charm   Okay can smack me silly now!

I am leaving home when I am least prepared to. Goodbye comforts of home. Hello dingy apartment.

Our resident siuyeh from the previous post, otherwise known as the brother, is also known for his selective hearing (and comprehension). His first language is English, and especially now that he is finally speaking in sentences and can communicate (read: argue!) with us, he is speaking more than ever. Come to think of it, I miss those days when he was silent. But that is an evil thought.

So, back to the subject, selective comprehension. He picked up Mandarin on his own through watching TV, which is a considerable feat when you take into account that #1 he is ADHD with speech problems #2 he doesn’t attend regular classes in the mainstream school and #3 his teachers use Malay and English to teach him. But miraculously, this kid, who can really pick up anything as long he puts his heart into it, has picked up Mandarin, in both the written and aural part of it.

 But he just flatly refuses to speak Mandarin to me and my sister. nuh-uh. We’d tease him and he’d proclaim "I don’t want to speak Mandarin, I want to speak English." Same thing goes for Cantonese, which we use at home as often as we use English. He understands some Cantonese but refuses to use it as well. He’d proclaim that he didn’t understand what we were talking about.

So just now, my mom was shouting to me, in Cantonese, from downstairs: "Do you want to have lunch now?"

"YES!"

 That didn’t come from me!

Selective comprehension, indeed.  

While the mother-ship is gallivanting in Hong Kong with her pals.

She deserves the break. TOTALLY.

So while the mother-ship is away, the sister and I are in charge of the wellbeing of the house and our resident siuyeh. To make things simple, here is our job division. The Chinese call our basic needs  衣食住行 (Clothes/Food/Residence/Transportation).

So, we share the 衣 part - she dumps the clothes into the washing machine and hangs them up to be baked under the not-very-scorching sunlight. I collect them and fold them.

I am completely in charge of 食. Have cooked many dishes, hoping to gain approval with our resident siuyeh, who has shown his pleasure by polishing off every last morsel off almost every dish, conveniently forgetting about his dear subjects who would so desire to have some leftover crumbs. And have washed more dishes than I have ever had in the past year.

住wise, the sister sweeps and mops while I uh, generally make sure everything else is in order before we sleep, before we go out, etc.

 For 行, I’ve sworn off driving for at least another week (but then I’d be back in Singapore) cos of a minor (but traumatising enough) accident I got myself into earlier this week. So the sister drives while I uh, do nothing much. Oh, I decide where we are to go.

 2 of us sharing what my mom usually does ALONE.

Excuse while I go scratch out "Be a homemaker" from my "Things to do after I have kids" list.

With the hopes of connecting with other like-minded people, to learn new things such as Latin dancing and choral singing.

But I was rudely awakened to the fact today that a small town will remain a small town, as much as it aims to disguise itself as a city, as much as I love it for my family and friends and memories.

Within 15 minutes, I was telling myself, I should have known.

When you have the emcee speaking in a shrill shrill voice in less-than-perfect English. Now, i am not judging the person for that cos, hey, who is to say whose English is perfect. I don’t speak perfect English and I slip into Manglish and gibberish ever so often.

So ok.

But it is NOT okay when there is poor awareness of the audience, it is NOT okay to answer a phone call WHILE you are speaking to the audience.

It is in even worse taste to tell the audience, aged between 6 - 50, that you are all VOLUNTEERS, that you are a NON-PROFIT ORGANISATION, that they should have signed up earlier and not last minute, that they have caused so much trouble, that they should be thanking their lucky stars that they are granted the places in the workshop, that your organisation has gone through so much to bring shows into Ipoh, that people should not be grumbling about ticket prices, about how expensive productions are, about 5 figure sums that are astronomical to the kids.

I was utterly horrified when money was constantly, consistently mentioned - about ticket prices, about generous sponsors and patrons, about making losses, about performing arts as an expensive business - a speech that was completely unprepared.

And you tell me that that is a good introduction to your organisation, a fitting start to a 3-day workshop aimed at young children and teenagers, to introduce them to the arts?

I walked away feeling completely patronised, as if I owe them a big big thank you for bringing culture into Ipoh.

That was not the end.

The last I recall, I am 25. I signed up for the workshop after asking them "There are going to be adults there right?" and receiving a response "Oh yeah, sure! In fact you are all going to be grouped according to your different age groups!"

So I happily sign up, thinking that I’d probably be amidst the aunties and the teachers, perhaps.

NO.

The adults were placed with the 6-8 year olds (The ‘Shirley Temple’ group, and the adults had the audacity to tell the children about the wonderful Shirley Temple who was so cute and so pretty and so talented and so so so so so FAMOUS - and is also dead).

The scenario: 31 kids aged 6-8. about 10 adults who were either the tai-tais of Ipoh who were there to mollycoddle their precious little darlings or the young ballet/music teacher. a disgruntled young adult who was hoping to join the workshop for some personal development (and to tear away from baking and excessive shopping).

I endured all the "hello boys and girls, how are you todays" until lunchtime. Putting on my biggest smile, I politely asked, ‘erm, would it be okay if I could switch to another group for tomorrow’s session? Like the older teenagers?’

‘why?’

‘Oh cos I am placed with the really young kids now and honestly, it’s more tailored for them and I think it’d be better for me if I joined another group where I can learn more.’

‘no, you can’t do that, you are all already grouped according to age groups.’

‘ah I see, but i am really not learning much cos it’s really more for the children.’

‘this is a JUNIOR programme and the adults who are here are the teachers who are learning different ways to teach their kids’ (hello no one told me this when I signed up)

‘ah okay, but what if I am just here for my own personal development? can’t I switch groups to learn things for myself?’

‘no, we can’t do that’ 

And then, what got me so peeved was that my my intelligence was completely insulted when the lady went on and on with a whole barrage of nonsense about how some of their trainers are veyr particular about the number of people they have in the group, about how each room can only accomodate x number of people, about how it’d be unfair for me to switch groups, yadayadayada.

With an obviously fake smile, I said, ‘fine. no worries.’

And of course I proceeded to bitch to my mom (and her friend).

I went through another two afternoon sessions with lil kiddy dance movement stuff and drama games (save me!).  The kids loved it (and of course!) and I felt more like a babysitter in my group. In all fairness, these 3 days would serve as a good introduction to the performing arts for the kids, as they would get to learn a little of everything.

I decided to not attend the next two days’ sessions.

In case you were wondering, no it was not for free. I’d paid RM50 for the 3-day workshop. Not a whole lot of money considering their benevolence. I’ll just consider it my donation towards their oh-so-worthy cause, that they have saved us so much money, that we are only paying RM50 for tickets to the opera now and not RM250 if were to go to Istana Budaya.

Honestly, yes, this organisation has brought in some glimmer of hope for the arts in Ipoh and yes, many of us, as teenagers some years ago, were first exposed to the arts through them.  But honestly, by going on and on about money, by being rigid about their ways, by advertising their respective teachers and dance schools, by praising their sponsors and patrons, by exhibiting less-than-professional stage presence - how are they really going to incite the love of the arts in the kids? 

I could go on and on. But I won’t. Cos I have come to the realisation, that Ipoh is a fantastic place to retire in, to spend time with my family and friends in, to breathe in fresh air, to have some sort of a sense of belonging cos the society’s so small. But it is also a place that development somewhat forgot.  I’d probably attended similar workshops in the past and had thoroughly enjoyed them, and maybe I’d overlooked the poor organisation (if any) back then.

Maybe I have just grown up and have seen (parts) of the world. I don’t mean to be patronising. I am just thoroughly miffed. And sad.  

Briefly, of course.

- Have made my rounds to 

• Tai Shu Giok (Under the Big Tree - LITERALLY) for pork porridge and out-of-the-world banana fritters
• Onn Kee taugeh chicken hor fun
• That shop next to Kong Hing for their hor fun and custard (I’d have this over creme brulee anytime)
• Bercham for claypot tanghoon and thai-style chicken and other good stuff
• Menglembu for claypot prawn sheng-mian and other good stuff
• Old Town kopitiam for coffee and toast
• Sun Yuen Loong for better coffee, milo+coffee, chee cheong fun and toast
• Funny Mountain for out-of-the-world tau foo far (tauhuay for the Sporeans )
• Wah Nam for the best prawn noodles and rojak
• Pasir Pinji New Village for peanut paste (nothing has beat this yet)

That’s just the first 6 days. Sigh. And I believe I have not finished. I never will.

What else have I done?

• I ran today - whee! 20 minutes around the neighbourhood better than nothing ok.
• Made marshmallow squares for my nephew’s full month celebration party. The squares were meant for the children. The adults finished it. Hmm.
• Made konyaku jellies because I felt like it. 7 trays. I’ve given some away, no worries.
• Baked 15 oreo cupcakes today because I felt like it too. They are yum. Will make another batch tomorrow and actually ice them. I have no strength to ice them tonight.
• For the first time in my life, I went into a cafe alone. To listen to someone sing, someone whom I haven’t seen for, what, 7-8 years. And I am glad he still remembers what I’d have wanted him to sing. And got all emo that night about me as a horrible and obnoxious teenager.
• Gotten re-acquainted with Kinta City (one of the only 2 malls in Ipoh) and am mildly pleased that finally, our shops are up to KL’s standards.
• Brought 3 primary school-age kids out today for lunch and shopping. It is tiring. I felt like a primary school teacher as I brought them to the supermarket and got them all hyped up about helping me find the items in my cupcakes recipe. To quote, "this is like a treasure hunt!". But it was worth it when at the end of the trip, one of them sweetly said, "Thank you for the lunch and thank you for the gift." Wahlau 心软 already.
• But that has actually stifled my maternal instincts. Peanut, Butter, and Jelly will have to wait a while. In case you don’t already know, my future kids are named so.
• Slept in my own bed. Nothing is as good as my own bed. So what if I actually have to share it with the sister.
• Scouted for good tours for my mom’s upcoming HK trip.
• Scouted for good deals for my own HK trip.

I don’t think that’s all that I have done but it sure seems like a lot. It’s funny being back this time cos I haven’t been home for more than 4-5 days for the past 2 years.

But I am not complaining.

Maybe I’ll actually get down to real work tomorrow