Picnic Basket

Over the weekend, my girlfriends have shown me again and again that true friends stand by your side in times of need. Even when you tell them that there is no need to do so. Packing up my things till 3am on a Saturday night, listening to my incessant whines over the weeks, sending heartwarming messages throughout the weekend, offering a place to crash, and the list goes on.

"Thank you" is hardly sufficient.

So I’ve moved out, and it’d be another 3 weeks before I can move into my new place and call it home. In the meantime, work continues to be crazy, but thanks to all the help I got over the weekend, I can finally concentrate on it proper now.

Oh, and if I were a punter, I’d look for those ‘number’ books (the ones with the lottery numbers indicated with every item imaginable?) and look up the lottery number for an orange. I had a very smooth, efficient and pleasant experiences with both my lease agent and self-storage space operator. Coincidentally, both companies have the word ‘orange’ in their names

Back to work now - thinking of martinis and steak sandwiches at Morton’s

… when he refers to his girlfriend by her name

… when his face lights up at every mention of her

… when the corners of his lips turn up in a slight smile at, again, the mere mentioning of her name

… when he repeatedly speaks of his commitment to take care of her

… when the *glow* is constantly there, even after three years together.

I was truly moved last night

Is an extra day at home.

Which, unfortunately, is a luxury I cannot afford at this point of time.

Unlike some of my contemporaries (I sound funny) I genuinely look forward to CNY every year. Not the annoying relatives but the general atmosphere of 团圆, getting together with my own family, meeting up with friends that I only see once or twice a year.

My memories of CNY include a meal on the eve, lounging around with the TV till past midnight, cos that’s the way it is supposed to be. The first day of CNY would begin with the new year wishes for the parents, and we’d have vegetarian food whole day. And the day also began with the whole family watching TVB’s live telecast of their CNY event. And then there’d be people coming to visit. And me joining friends to visit others.

It’s different this year, but I still like it, nonetheless. The reunion dinner this year was a very healthy (think organic veggies, fish, assorted fishball stuff, tofu, chicken, the works) steamboat dinner with a neighbour.  And I went out to meet some Sam Chai classmates for a drink at Old Town (where else these days right?) and later on at Rum Jungle. It is really heartwarming meeting them cos though we probably last saw each other like 13-14 years ago, this annual get-together makes us feel like we’ve never really parted. Granted, we are all so different now, but we were a united class, we were. I am meeting up with more of them later. can’t wait!

Then of course there are the AMC girls tomorrow night, and meeting up with Ling tomorrow too.

We are also visiting as a family this year - haven’t done that for some time. Thanks to Someone Up There, Ernie is finally understanding what CNY means and is now willing to go through visitations with us. Went to 6 homes yesterday. We were all so stoned at the end of the day! But I was also surprised to find that many families don’t visit as a family these days, as teenagers refuse to join their parents, and the older kids have their own programmes. I think I am a stickler for traditions such that I’ve always joined my parents for these visits and I know I’d definitely insist that my own kids do the same in the future.

To a certain extent, I really think the ones who are more nostalgic and the ones who want to meet up the most are the ones who have left. I am definitely one of them and since I left 5 years ago, I’ve always been uber enthusiastic about setting up meetings and stuff. While it is true that at every stage of your life, you will inevitably have different friends (what would I do in Singapore without the D3 girls to go through college and now adult life with me I don’t know). 

But this year, I have come to a realisation that not everyone shares this sentiment. There are some friends whom you meet only once a year and you can just pick up where you left off last year. There are some friends whom you can keep in touch with just a few times a year and still you are up to date with each others’ lives. And there are also some friends whom you still hold dearly, but you’d have to come to the realisation that everyone’s needs have become different, and that maybe you just don’t belong anymore (or you have never belonged at all).

I think I was slightly down during my first day home but after talking to Justin about it, and doing some thinking of my own, I think I’ve learnt much from this experience. What matters is not how many different groups you meet up with during these seasons (not that it should ever matter!),  but the value of these meetings. It sounds superficial but I think at this point of time, I’ll just appear where I am apparently missed. Where people would actually ask, "Where’s sze?". Not "what is she doing here?".

On another note, I am still hoping for my voice to resurface! David has given me a simple formula - hope it works!

And I am missing all the action in Singapore as well! Can’t wait to meet up with the girls and of course SAF too! 

Happy Lunar New Year to the few of you reading!

p/s I’ve finally found a connection between guys I find attractive: Eason Chan, Jamie Oliver and the boy. They all exude the big boy charm   Okay can smack me silly now!

Haven’t been as happy and carefree for a long time.

It began with an afternoon of lunch and shopping with Boon. Loved it!

Then, it was the long awaited Oktoberfest! Beer, food, good company, good music - what more could one ask for! We were all trigger happy, had random people to dance and take pictures with, and were just all happy happy.

Haven’t had this feeling for a long time.

Left Oktoberfest at about 1130pm, while Jean called me to join her and a bunch of pilots at St James. After my girlfriends left for home, I went on to meet Jean. And had fun!

And just got home not long ago…wheee…………

Need much much sleep……

But is happy…………………..

It was a stressful week. ended with more stress to my previously (probably still is) oblivious little mind.

Please God, do let me know how to handle all these.

But again, thank God for friends. Over beer with Andrea, I learnt that I am not alone in my worries. That they are not unfounded, that I do have support, that I am not alone. *hugs* to Andrea.

And WH joined us for dinner and dessert. Nectarie was an especial comfort tonight.

Of Friday nights. Of girlfriends, heart-to-heart, and unspoken support.

I may not feel it right now, I may not know what to do now. But I know I am somewhat a little more ready to face Monday, feeling a little more certain (and you won’t know how scared I am) about me.

And to come home to find Joe online and talking about relationships and revisiting those guitar-strumming days and getting introduced to Gabe Bondoc -

I’ll be okay

Well, after work tomorrow.

I forgot to mention in the earlier post that there is this boy that both me and my colleague find cute.

And he is 15. With a 25-year-old voice, no doubt. And a really nice smile.

But he is 15, and certainly speaks and acts like one.

We concluded that he is only cute when he doesn’t speak too much. *mental note to reread and watch Notes on a Scandal*

And I am posting just cos I like this picture of us-minus-Andrea the Architect:

Where do I begin?

Saturday night, Little Shop of Horrors with the Dim Sum Dollies with the Lit people:

More than 4 of us la. about 16 of us was more like it. Whoopee.

Though the ending of the musical left me rather disturbed and unsettled. I’d been conditioned to think that most things on stage would result in good beating evil.

It’s during these times when evil prevails that disturbs me.

The two girls who put up with my whines and cries and various bimbotic instances.

What is age and geographical distance?

Of course, congratulations, geekchic!

As you and Jen proclaimed your wedding vows, as I saw how moved you were, all I thought was, that is all you need for a wedding. God as your ultimate witness. The pastor to aid you. Parents, grandparents, friends, close relatives. The vows through sickness and through death.

That is all that you need. I am so happy for both of you!

And I will always remember your sister asking me, as we struggled through another English tuition  class hur hur, about what I knew of Jen for he had been at your house pretty often. Ahem. And 7 years later,

And may you have lots of purty doggies in your future home! You are SO buying my ticket to Melbourne!

And stuff, well…

Maybe all I want to do is to snuggle under covers in my bed back home with an old copy of Malory Towers.

Maybe what I want to do right now is a shopping marathon with Jan followed by a girly session of heart-to-hearts and giggles

Maybe I’ll experience an epiphany after I complete the darned 70% Ed Psych essay. 

Maybe I don’t really know what I want.

And the only non-maybe is that I’ve never made my own decision but it was God who had brought me to where I am at this point. So, at this juncture, it’s all up to Him again.

But will I know, now? 

It was Jer’s 23rd birthday+very late housewarming+Karmel’s 1st birthday last night - just an excuse for a hall friends gathering I haven’t seen the D3 girls for quite a while (damned work!) and it was really good just hanging out with the girls (and the guys) and being plain silly once in a while. And we didn’t mean to be camwhores. We aren’t usually camwhores. But as Jer has recorded, we took a whopping 203 pictures last night. All in the name of fun And I wish I didn’t have to do my work. I keep mentally reminding myself - just 2 more months to the end of this semester (and no more sucky Ed Psych tutor!)! And I will clean up this space after I am done with my Lit essay tonight