But not really away. Just been bogged down I guess. Which makes me worried.
If I have HALF the teaching load of a regular teacher, and NO CCAs, committees, departmental work, form classes, and whatever crap that is thrown to a teacher - and I am already working so much - there must be something seriously wrong with me.
Check back with me come October to see if I still have a social life. That is, if you are still in contact with a potentially hermit-fied me by then.
But enough about me and ranting about me.
So it’s been 6 weeks in this school. Been keeping positive, generally, and my source of positivity and joy comes mainly from the kids. Everything else, as I’ve learnt, just grin and bear it. As my CT said (she is a true inspiration, she is), you must tahan. So I am. And having adorable students helps too.
As I watched the concert band play during the Speech Day rehearsal - I missed secondary school (or more specifically, AMC Military Band) for the very first time.
As I walked down the familiar path from hall to Fong Seng yesterday - I missed the carefree (in comparison) hall days.
I am not usually that nostalgic.
But anyway, I know I’d miss these kids that I have now when I leave. Especially the Sec 3s. 
I don’t deny the occasional thought that I have had, the romantic notion of staying here and really making a difference in the lives of these kids.
And you might say, you should teach kids, not teach the subject. So why are you so pragmatic about this whole thing? Are you sure that you really would be a good teacher if you have this kind of attitude? What is this is God’s will for you to stay in a neighbourhood school? (the final question I’d never have the answer to I am afraid)
I’ve asked myself this question. And the answer to my thoughts of staying is, I have to admit , a conditional yes.
But the conditions are not right. I do not want to end up jaded and judgmental. And while I am enjoying the classroom time I have here, I am more excited about the potential challenges that lies ahead in the other school that I’ve committed myself to.
So, just pray with me, yea? That these final 4 weeks ahead will complete a set of good memories about my Practicum and that the few years ahead with the other school will be more challenging and more fulfilling?
